[Be aware: I curse a little in this post.]

I am/was so confused. Late last year, I had three things rocking simultaneously:

  1. I knew there was more on the planet for me to do than what I as doing, but had no idea WHAT.
  2. I had seriously fucked up two projects and one relationship and really couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong–but I knew I felt WRONG.
  3. AND, I was doing a bunch of stuff well. Many of you fine folks seemed to be enjoying my work and I was doing better than “paying the bills”.

Can you relate to this Fine/Fucked Up/Fabulous combo? It’s confusing, right? You feel like you’re doing ok, screwing things up and being a genius all at once, but you don’t know how to snap the mediocrity, prevent the screw ups and do more of the genius work.

SO, I freaked out (my version is watching several hours of (thanks for being my pusher, Colleen), cutting out all optional social engagements, letting email pile up beyond all repair and eating ice cream). I asked for help. I got it and didn’t find it soothing or helpful. I freaked out some more to the tune of deciding I could just stop EVERYTHING for six weeks straight. THIS was the turning point.

Once I gave myself permission to a full stop, something happened. I woke up the next morning and had a massive realization. I had NO IDEA WHY I was doing what I was doing. I could not explain why I was teaching. I strained myself to mental hemorrhoid trying to explain to my friend Luke WHY I love speaking so much. I could not articulate why I ran my own business (versus having a j.o.b.). It suddenly made perfect sense that I was confused, frustrated and didn’t know why WHAT I was doing on the planet wasn’t satisfying, working particularly well or easy to describe.

I devoted myself to answering these why questions for myself AND had a massive epiphany while working with a brilliant client. I realized:

If we don’t know our why, then what we do is basically irrelevant.


In the seven months since that epiphany, I have developed a process of inquiry called SuperConditions for Greatness. It’s a model that helped me build a better blueprint for my own purpose on the planet and has helped several hundred other folks as well. I’m not going to go into the whole SuperConditions model in this post, but I’m going to give you a bit of an introduction. I’ll keep writing about the work if it seems interesting to you. Let me know.

Try this on. Here’s an 8-minute intro to SuperConditions for Greatness–listen to it here:

Or download the audio here.

For you visual learners, David Michael Moore, @retweetartist created this badassed visual narrative (yes, he can do it for your work, too) describing my SuperConditions for Greatness model. Play with it and let me know how it works.

Want more? Head over here and listen to a 90-minute call describing what SuperConditions for Greatness are and how to use them to clarify your purpose and design your business for great(er)ness. I talk about my SuperConditions and work live with a fantastic group of folks.

I am excited to hear your questions, ideas and what you think your SuperConditions are in the comments. Speak up. Be great(er).

P.S. my purpose IS clear to me now–I’m here to inform your leadership by helping you educate your intuition. I still screw stuff up, but now I know WHY and can recover much faster. Oh, and I am using my greatest why to do good whats and I’m doing it just how I like to do it. SO, YAY!


And because greatness is worth sharing, copy and paste these social media updates and spread the word:

if you don’t know why, then what you do is irrelevant. #superconditions @dyanavalentine

use your good to do great. @dyanavalentine #superconditions

existential angst+massive mistakes+the comfort of genius @dyanavalentine #superconditions


THANK YOU, everyone, for reading, for showing up for yourself and for being great(er).


If you can’t view this 2:37 video click here. If you dig it and want to see us go even deeper, click here.

When my friend, Shelley said, “how you eat tells me something about how you do everything.” *Gulp* I suddenly felt vulnerable and nervous. Dive in to this deep interview and let me know HOW you have eaten, related and loved today.

Shelley really called me out and raised my eyebrows and taste buds–even though we did this interview about a week ago–I’m STILL setting my mind on “joy” or “calm” or “slow it down” before I take in food or even when I pick up the phone. For those of us celebrating U.S. Thanksgiving, this might be a great week to practice. Oh, and for a juicy, extra special bonus, check out Shelley’s new book Tantric Tastes: Dessert For Lovers (affiliate link). Keep life funky and foxy, everyone.

Hotlights for those of you who are reading in a rush (please check out the full interview on Shelley’s blog here, we had a a lot of fun):

  • Cravings are signals or tools–don’t knock them until you’ve listened to them;
  • If you eat with joy in mind, you digest more effectively;
  • Find out about your body’s intelligent ecology (yep, get down on some new BIG words now); and
  • Put some “love ketchup” on your food! Explore your own Spiritual Condiments.

Go beyond, “you are what you eat.” Follow Shelley’s lead and put some Yippee! on your plate with those mashed potatoes. I’d love to hear your stories about how food impacts your world. Please share in the comments.


Share the treats; copy and paste these tweets:

Sprinkle some Thank You on your food. @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove explore #TantricTastes

You are HOW you eat watch @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove talk about food, work and love #TantricTastes

Don’t just eat your pumpkin pie – make sweet love to it! @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove #TantricTastes

What spiritual condiments r u using on Thanksgiving? @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove #TantricTastes