Think back (or forward) to a new, passionate, relationship. Feel the sizzle, remember the smell and hear the music you listened to at the time. Really get into it. Are you feeling it? Good!

Like the first weeks of a lusty relationship, I want you to imagine your project knocking on your door and you have goosebumps. You aren’t even sure where to start: offer a drink, sit down or just get right to it? What if this was your energy around your current project? Do you think I’m kidding? I’m serious as the first week of love, committed and thinking about it non-stop. I want you to get hot for your work.

We DECIDE to go for it in new relationships. And yes, like our projects, we lose that initial verve. “things” get old, routine, dry. What do you do in your best relationships to fuel the fantasy fire? How do you get it up when the endorphins wear off?

Do you have a stalled project right now (you know the one)? The one project that has changed five times in the last 18 months. it keeps morphing, shifting, changing names, but it ALWAYS comes back. Take a moment right now and evaluate it like you would a lover, very close friend or even a child. Make your project someone, an important someone. Consider a few project-relationship concepts:

1. LOYALTY: is the project true to you? Does it reflect your values? Are you loyal to it, or divided–and why?
2. PASSION: where’s the spark? Is it still there? Do you have that spark in you about it? If not, is it truly gone or does it just need a blast of the bellows?

Okay. Let’s stop here and fantasize that you check-checked the top two and you know your project is loyal and you are true to her. Your passion is there, but just a bit distracted or dulled by time and the reality that plodding through certain parts of a project can put a damper on your woody. Now, ask:

3.  CONNECTION: are you connected to the meaning of your work or project? Is there a way that you could improve the connection–both  to the task(s) at hand and your role in the project (and perhaps with other humans on the task as well)?
4.  PURPOSE: is the current purpose of your work relevant? There’s always a purpose, but is it your original? Even if it still resonates to how you felt when you started–does it serve now?

Now, how’s your lust factor? Did I just add frustration to your day or did something shake loose? Are you staying with the project, or is it a time for an amendment, date-night or a break up? Let me know in the comments.

Photo by See-ming Lee 李思明 SML used with permission under a Creative Commons license.

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Folks have been landing on my site during the past few weeks and many asked what the heck this 40 Days thing is all about. Here’s the straight scoop on one way I’ve learned to make and keep commitments to myself. How do you do it?

Shortly before my 40th, I awoke from a dream wondering what day, exactly, would mark 40 days before my milestone birthday. I felt strongly that something special was in order. Something intense, and intensely different. And thus was born the 40 Days Before my 40th Giveaway project. During that period, I gave away ideas, photography, advice, clothes, things and obligations and did it in public, via Twitter and Facebook.

It was an intense experience because it was LONG, very personal and, as usual, I quickly realized I bit off (almost) more than I could chew. I cleared my closet. I made new friends. I got more done during those 40 days than I had in the previous 40, on business, client and personal projects that had been dying on the vine.

The first cycle was so powerful that I did another 40-day cycle, this time with a different theme: Remembering. I focused on remembering loved ones no longer breathing air, lessons I’d learned but didn’t practice and those “sure things” that helped me and others finish what they started. To my surprise and pleasure, folks started joining in, starting their own commitment and accountability cycles, commenting, playing along. It was wonderful.

When that cycle ended, I realized that what I really needed to focus on–what I’d been shirking (with vigor!) was my body. So, I embarked on a 10-day cycle–a length I knew I could commit to and would not have to work at too hard. It went well–I had great support–but WOW, did I feel lame inside because I KNEW I wasn’t walking my talk, at ALL. I get paid to push people through very difficult transitions, and they will tell you: I expect a lot from them, and I give a lot to their processes. And yet, I was not doing what I knew needed doing–for myself.

If this is your intro to the current cycle, here’s Day One of: 40 Days Of My Body. This is a quest to spend 40 days working on my body, in service to my business and my own path of finishing what I start. I am committed to exercising 6 days/week, keeping a food journal and being more aware of ways I use (and abuse) my body. Going public is extreme, yes, and it’s working for me and the 18 folks who have jumped into the fray!

Join us by making your own commitment. What needs doing in your personal life or your career? Please share your ideas and plans in the comments.

Image by eschipul. Used under a Creative Commons license.

Related posts:

1. 40 Days of OUR Bodies: Fast Food Junkie Kicks the Habit! (28/40)
2. 40 Days of My Body: Day 14 Say It, Do It
3. 40 Days of My Body: Day 10

This post is inspired by Garr Reynold’s post on his struggle with an book-writing deadline (using the brilliant video by Lewis Black on writing a book.)

No matter your art/practice form–you may have tripped over, felt strangled by or obsessed with a deadline. Take back your power!

My best practice involves a ritualized clearing of at least 3 days. WAIT, don’t stop reading because this sounds ridiculous. Even if you take an hour a day for three days–this WORKS. What is your project worth to you? How much time have you already invested NOT doing the work or griping about not doing the work?

1. Day One: silence (no talk, music, media, reading; only handwriting–my tools are post-its or 3×5 cards and a fountain pen, so I have to slow down to do it).

2. Day Two: incorporate everything that came up on day one into book/project–avoid most media not related to feeding yourself or the book (when you backslide into unrelated activities: stop. get pen/paper and take a walk–up a hill, if possible, for 15 minutes at least (not sure why this works, maybe the butt-burn distracts me from the distraction)).

3. Day three: disclose accomplishments to editor/accountability partner/shrewd friend & integrate changes.

Rinse.Repeat.

Works for me when I do it. (and you’ll notice I haven’t written a book—hi-ever, many a workshop/curriculum now live because I shut the heck up and took these steps).

How do you keep yourself rolling? What fun do you have with deadlines?

Image by RandySonofRobert. Used under a Creative Commons License.

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1. DIY: Accountability!

Get Going and Keep Going: accountability partners

These Accountability tips were included in Monique Hodgkinson’s blog, A Stable Solution. Check her out–she is putting some great ideas out there for newbies to small business.

I am more accountable to others than to myself. Seriously. Yes, I’m a coach, advisor and all-around whip cracker. But I need help keeping my projects going while I help you with yours. SO, about 5 years ago, a few friends started an Accountability Group. We met weekly and shared ideas for, success stories about and roadblocks to our projects and goals. Over the years, I have taught many groups, organizations and pairs how to use the Accountability Process. It has worked tremendously for me, my clients and I trust will for you, too.

My intention here is to encourage folks to be accountable to their own projects with others who help us stay honest, on track and in motion. The goal of an accountability partner or group is not only to get feedback (if you want it), share resources and ideas but mostly to give you an opportunity to report your progress, celebrate accomplishments and set (and KEEP) realistic goals for yourself.

Here’s a brief how-to get started with a partner or a group (if you get it are ready to skip right to the worksheet, click here).

1. Be choosy about your partners.

This may be a no-brainer, so bear with me. You may be friends, but may not be ideal accountability partners. Does the person you are considering show up? Do what they say they will do? Have a critical (constructive) eye? Will they give you honest feedback? Are they a positive person?

2. Communicate early and often.

Ever notice how you may start a group or partner with someone, then it fizzles out with no warning? It’s critical with an accountability process that it works for you and all involved. Check in periodically with the group or your partner and ask: how’s this working for you? Are you getting what you need? Do you need to re-evaluate when/where you are checking in? is one person hosting all the time? Is the hour of the meeting still working for everyone?

3. Use a clear process:

It can be as simple as a 15-minute phone or quick email check in at the end of a day or on a deadline. Agree on when you’ll check in with your partner or meet with your group. Show up on time and be clear: what did you intend to get done? Did you do it? Do you want feedback or support (be specific about what you want from others)? And clearly state the next step or deadline. The process can change over time and each person may put their own twist on it—don’t get stuck in a process that isn’t serving everyone involved.

Get going! Click here for your Accountabilty Check-In Sheet. Use it, change it, make it work for you. Let me know if you adapt it and how so I can share it here. Big thanks to Elektra Grant, who hosted the first Accountability Group, developed the original check in worksheet and has championed me as I continue to pursue my passion of helping YOU help yourself.

So…how do you stay accountable? Who helps keep you accountable? Let me know in the comments.

Related posts:

1. How-To: Get a Project GOING!
2. Client Tell: Brownie Blockade, Part 1
3. “I do.” Making and Keeping Commitments to Myself