Chris Guillebeau and Pam Slim kick some serious butt. If you don’t know them already, you are missing out. Chris is the king of circumnavigation (with the miles to prove it) and non-conformity. Pam is your get out of cubicle jail free card. I’m doing their $100 Business Forum this month. The basic idea is to take 28 days, 150 cool people and a c-note and get expert help start a business, launch a product or just get your head in the (small biz) game. And if you are the type to do it at home without 150 witnesses, then you gotsta check out Danielle LaPorte’s new sizzlefest:





Alrighty, I’m on the $100BF the first two days, buzzing around pollinating and getting the lay of the land. It’s really energizing connecting with cool people, being nosy, and most of all, giving this time and focus to MY BUSINESS!! Yes, as much as I preach about it, this is rare for me and I’m NOT proud of this. I’m committed to doing more of this and sticking to it, dangit!

Okay, enough intro–here’s the good story. I’m connecting with this cool cat from Australia who is talking about all of the great work he’s doing. He has several projects, interests and directions he COULD pursue. While I am reading his introduction, I get a ZING! from one project he listed. BTW: I’m being vague because I didn’t get his permission to chat up HIS bid-ness, okay? So, I write to him and ask which idea is the most passionate for him; he names the Zinger. I start to get all butterfly-y and excited. THEN, he ups the game and says that not only is that the one he feels the most heat for, but it is scary and challenging, too. I start to prance in place a little. Here comes the money shot. He says, “it’s also financially the most likely to give a clear transition away from the day job.” We have a WINNER!! It’s the triple-threat of what’s possible:
PASSION+PUSH=PROFIT
It’s juicy because it’s true.

What comes to mind when you read the following ideas?

• PASSION: something that drives you, wants doing, really rings YOUR bell (and yes, if it bugs other people, but still makes you giddy, then you are on the right topic)
• PUSH: there’s an edge to it, maybe it’s a recurring dream or a project that moves from back burner to front and back again, but never really leaves your mind. There’s an element of thrill, challenge, and eek! to it.
• PROFIT: this is not all about money. The profit is really about the deep benefits: satisfaction, peace, exhilaration, more time with family, less time with family, living in a van traipsing around the country.

What does your triple-whammy look like? What are the things in your life that turn you on, are a bit scary(good scary) and that are your ticket outta jail? Tell us in the comments.

Photo by Beija Flor, used under a Creative Commons license.

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Someone invites you to work with them on a project–your (insert your spasm-struck body part here) chest tightens for a split second. If you are really smooth, you say, “Thank you, I’ll think about it.” I’m not smooth, so I (sometimes and working on rarely) say, “I’m really excited for you, great idea! That sounds like fun!”  And I really mean that–but it always sounds like more of a YES than I mean.  Either way, smooth or enthusiastically coltish, we both find ourselves hemming and hawing over the decision. Depending on our situation, we might even feel that saying NO is akin to breaking the rules (great tutorial on breaking the rules at Jeffrey Tang’s blog). If you find yourself twirling around these thoughts:

Should I? It could be good. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Maybe I’ll make a pro/con list? Well, it won’t kill me, maybe it will make me stronger? I feel so guilty about not wanting to do this!

then you have officially entered into NO-gotiations. We are really talking our way around to NO–even though we know that’s the only true answer. We might even end up saying YES–but the energy of the No is undeniable. We drag it around and (okay, I’m just speaking for me here) get resentful, do a crappy job or end up having to pull out of commitments, which makes us feel even worse than if we’d just gone with No in the first place!

No-gotiating faster and with aplomb:
Listen to your body–it usually knows before you do. Keep a single post it note (or memo in your phone) handy and write down how you physically feel every time someone asks you a yes/no question today. What did you notice?
Write a script down for yourself and USE IT when you talk to folks. I keep them simple (and YES, I do have to keep these on my wall in my office and practice them), and customize them when needed:

NO, thank you (pause 2, 3, 4, 5)
I am intrigued! I need more information. How much time, money, energy, blood sweat and tears are involved?
Wow, I’m really flattered. Thank you, no.
I am not available for that. (pause 2, 3, 4, 5)

UPDATE: 7pm. My friend, Bob Peterson contributed this via Facebook today. It’s called the NO SANDWICH METHOD.

“It’s cheesy (not literally like provolone or swiss) but highly effective. The “bread” is letting the asker know you understand what is being asked (1st piece) The second slice is why you are saying no. The “meat” is “NO.” Not ” I can’t” or some other variation. It’s simple, but powerful. Ex. Wanna smoke a bowl? The “sandwich”…. “Hey, I … know you wanna get with me, but NO, b/c it’s not my thing, I’m a student athlete and don’t wanna get kicked off the team, etc….Like I said cheesy/corny, but it really works.”

Ask a trusted friend to listen to you. What do they hear?
Pound the pavement and find your way to your natural no. Oprah has a great series of articles on saying no.

Danielle LaPorte kicks butt–and she knows how to say NO! We did really fun interview for her new digital experience, The Firestarter Sessions, and somehow landed on selfishness, porn, entrepreneurial spirit and NOT-doing-it. Yes, you have to buy the thing to see the video. Yes, it’s worth it and yes, I became an affiliate (I get some moolah if you buy it from my link). Click on the image below to find out the scoop.

Say YES to saying no;

Where are you no-gotiating today?

Photo by fotogail. Used with permission under a Creative Commons license.

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I had a dream last night—I’ll save you the full details (unless you want them), but let’s say William Shatner, a large scared Husky and a fictional opera diva, Leonore (on whom I had my first celebrity crush, evidenced by walking up to her in the dream to tell her how stunningly she had influenced me and bursting into fan tears) were all there.

The closing scene: I was in a car, recovering from my dreamvening, talking to my mom on the phone. After I’d gone a few blocks, I said, still teary from Leonore and the Husky and Captain Kirk (really Shatner-slash-McConaughey), “How do I get from here to your house?” –silence- “Well?” and woke, clear as a bell at my usual, 532am.

How do I get from here to. . .? Have you ever asked yourself? Are you asking it now? What’s the conundrum?

Is that your real question?

Let’s go deeper:

Where do we go from here?

What do we do when we get there?

How do we do what we do when we get there?

Are these the right questions?

What about: what is my passion?

How do I express my values?

Does it matter where I’m going if I’m not living at my highest vibe right here, right now?

What are your questions? Dreams? Do you have answers to share here? Leave a comment, take a comment.

Photo by David Masters, used under a Creative Commons license.

Related posts:

1. How-To: Get a Project GOING!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Last week, I had the pleasure of recording a tele-seminar with Dallas Travers and her Thriving Artist Circle. Five brave volunteers completed a Project Assessment, detailing what project they were working on and what help they needed. We then worked with them to help them combine their personal strengths with their struggles to come up with unique project solutions to move them forward. This one hour recording gives you a great example of how I help self-starters learn to be self-finishers. Remember: if you focus on even ONE of the 5-steps to self-finishing, you WILL make progress!
1.     Start where you are: be nice to yourself! Just because you aren’t an expert now, trust that you’ll get there.

2.    Accept invitations: even unlikely ones.

3.    Ask for feedback: be clear about what you need and when.

4.    Focus on what DOES work: be positive and be brave enough to re-evaluate your goals.

5.    Make a small decision and TRY it: nothing is permanent, you can always try something else.

6.    GET ACCOUNTABLE: when you are in the moment of choosing to watch tv on hulu.com; call a friend and be SPECIFIC about what you are doing—endcap it with a call to report what you did accomplish. Here’s an Accountability Check In Sheet to help you start your own accountability process.

Dallas and I invite you to download and listen to the tele-seminar:  Dallas Travers & Dyana Valentine: Finish What You Start! (you may wish to complete the Project Assessment first), and enjoy the process. Write your questions, suggestions and ideas in the comments. Let me know how I can help you finish what you start!

Related posts:

1. Pitch Perfect!
2. DIY: Accountability!
3. Client Tell: Brownie Blockade, Part 1

Image by frischmilch, used with permission via Creative Commons License

Have you ever felt nervous starting a new project, job or adventure? Wondered how to put your best foot forward on the first day? How about two weeks in?

When communicating with others, you are constantly demonstrating your intentions. If you can get clear about your intentions: which you have put on the wall, you can communicate them clearly. Here are some tools rocking it out:

1. SHOW UP, Attendance/Accountability:
Don’t be on time—be early;
Do what you say you will do;
Be prepared: find out what is required.

2. BE CLEAR, Phone/E-Mail/In-Person:
Phone: your cell is your business line now, plan out what you will say on someone’s voicemail, consider your policy on responding to messages (is the work culture one where everyone returns calls within 2 hours or 24 hours?), be shrewd when making your ringtone selection;
E-Mail: make a very clear Subject Line, be sure to include your Contact Info, make a Draft (without recipient’s email in the To line) first, a note on blind cc’ing: either copy all openly or forward your e-mail with a note indicating why you are copying them separately;
In-Person: Use same principles, be clear, respond to points on the table and keep it professional.

3. GET WHAT YOU WANT. Really, you can!
Don’t leave until you got what you went there for;
When in doubt, ask for help OR hang back and imitate person next to you, act cool and take notes;
Keep an eye out for one another and share resources.

Good luck!

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We will many “first days” in our lives. It could be the first day on a project, job or at a new worksite. The tips are the same whether you are joining a new theater company or going to your first-ever job. Check these out and tell me what tips you’d give others on their first day

1. Be prepared. Learn everything you can about the company, your position and your coworkers.

2. Say thank you. Take the time to send gratitude cards to everyone who helped you while you were looking for a new job; and for goodness sake, thank the folks who hired you!

3. Don’t be on time, be early, and be prepared to put in some extra time as you learn the ropes.

4. Dress appropriately to your work situation. Find out the culture of the company and find a sincere blend of your style and the company or organization’s style.

5. Ask a lot of questions. Check in to let your coworkers and supervisors know you have questions and find out when is a good time to get the answers. Consider keeping a running list in a journal or draft e-mail (don’t add recipient’s address until you it is clean, edited and ready to send:)

6. Get to know your coworkers and learn their names. Introduce yourself as often as possible–a good tip to know if someone knows your name is that they will usually use it when greeting you. Keep a list of who’s who with short descriptions of what they look like or what they are wearing that day if you have loads of humans to learn.

7. Find out what is expected of you. Explore what you are to do, how you’ll be evaluated and whether creativity is welcome or if there is a set way to accomplish your work.

8. Stay out of the gossip mill. Really, it’s absolutely none of your business. Try moving away from those conversations, no matter how juicy they are. Walk away.

9. Study the interpersonal relationships of your coworkers. How do folks communicate? Are they direct? Do they prefer small talk before they get into an issue or discussion? How does your style relate to theirs?

10. Don’t expect everyone to be warm and fuzzy and love you right off the bat. That’s not why you are there–take a breath and remain professional, always.

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