My friend,
Melanie Martin posted this on Facebook:
I commented:
Great story! It hit me in the belly. I call it “creator's remorse.” It happens for me .every.single.time. I release something into the world or work with a complex client or project. Every.single.time. Here's what I do to treat the malady:
- Tell the whole story: the situation/set up, what happened next, the result, and the after-result (what I felt like afterwards);
- Make a list of:
+ Things I'll never do again (never take a client/gig when your gut is telling you to RUN)
+ Things I could have approached differently
+ Things that totally surprised me (that I really couldn't have been ready for)
- Finally, I commit to NOT doing the first, systematizing the second, and praying for the third (well, the good ones, at least).
Three BONUS acts of remorse-prevention (always go for prevention versus treatment, right? Right!)
- "CUT IT OUT!" Say it out loud. Voice your complaints once, and then start your next project with those adjustments in mind. Are you doing a crappy job at your job? Then sharpen your craft, take a class or get a mentor.
- PLAN time for creator's remorse recovery (including bitchfesting). It's taxing to be seen, to put something out in the world. You suddenly see it as if you are seeing it through 10,000 others’ eyes. You know how different a new boyfriend or girlfriend looks after you've introduced them to your friends? Yeah, like that. So, PLAN for it. Set a walk&talk date with a friend who will listen with a scribe’s ear to hear the things that might actually be useful to you and forgive the gripe-fest parts. Then, listen back to your friend, say, “thank you for listening” and then pat yourself on the back for making art or doing your job or taking the risk to go big and belly flop.
- Get a hobby to distract yourself while you come down from post-completion syndrome so you have something to do with your hands besides shovel chocolate covered potato chips (damn you, Trader Joes!).
As for Melanie? Following our Facebook exchange, she had this to say:
I think accepting and planning for the fact that I will feel this way will help a lot. I am planning to not dive into the editing straight after the event but mourn a bit for a day and then tackle it because this way I can put some distance between the exhausted “I just shot a wedding” feeling and the dread of looking at the photos. And maybe accepting that all is not as bad as I see it and try to see it through my clients’ eyes will help.
Your turn: do you have creator's remorse? What do you do about it? Tell me in the comments, puh-leeze. Thank you.
_ _ _
Now share the anti-creator’s remorse love with a friend with these handy pre-made tweets:
Know anything about creator's remorse? http://bit.ly/u9FPrk @_melaniemartin and @DyanaValentine do...
Creator's remorse usually presents as a bitchfest--what are you doing about it? @DyanaValentine & @_melaniemartin tell here: http://bit.ly/u9FPrk
@DyanaValentine and @_melaniemartin suffer from creator’s remorse. Do you? http://bit.ly/u9FPrk
+++
Did you know that I'm doing free monthly calls? Well, now you do--so click
here and sign up to get the call in info. This month's is this Friday, yes Black Friday. What better time to tune in, listen to a dream and ask your burning questions? Hear you there.
I have been writing down my dreams for over a year. I feel as though art has returned to my life. It's a sentimental, possessive experience. Vivid, visual, visceral dreams are a part of me I can count on. Dream time is one of the few spaces/contexts that I don't question. I don't judge myself or the stories that come through. Really. Ever.
I lurch out of bed to record
weird videos. Several complete poems/songs/performance sermon-esque pieces have come through between 4-6 am (aka: the hours of Dyana). I got so into it that I created
a site, an
offering and a free
call-in gathering.
One morning at 5:45, I listened to a fascinating show from Radiolab called
HELP!. Thanks,
Jenn Cole, for turning me on to this show and for being a guest on
Finish It! Friday. The show was about folks making deals to fight addiction, finish creative works and negotiating through roadblocks. Okay, that's an inelegant reduction of the show--trust me and listen to it. It may revolutionize the way you think about stepping into your art, trusting it when you do get in there and getting things done.
I was struck by the entire show--but the section where
Elizabeth Gilbert discusses her conversations about creativity with Tom Waits rocked my world. He told her:
+ every song has a distinctive identity that it comes into the world with
+ some songs you have to sneak up on, like hunting for a rare bird
+ some come fully intact like a dream taken through a straw
+ some songs need to be bullied
Elizabeth Gilbert said that once she realized the sources of her ideas were
outside of her, that meant she could negotiate with a source.
Where/how is your art?
If you love Radiolab donate here.
Click the green and get some of my art.
Photo by me. Part of the Midnight Tapestry series.
