I had a fantastic conversation with Crystal Reynolds from Crystal Ink.

She said she sometimes feels shy about talking to speakers at conferences or events and asked me if I had any tips for her. Here is how I like my post-stage encounters to go:

Step right up. The way I really like to be approached is for people to just come on up. I want to know how my work impacts people and I don’t necessarily get that feedback all the time. I really want to talk to you after a speech as much as you want to talk to me, and I think most speakers feel the same way. So, tell us how our material affected you, what you got out of it and how you use it. Some of my most interesting collaborations have come from post-talk conversations. You just never know what can happen if you step up.

Don’t be afraid of the emotional … I’m not. My work is intense, and sometimes intimate. I mean, I did a video in my bathrobe, for goodness sake! So, sometimes people approach me from a very emotional place and then get self conscious for having gone “there.” Don’t sweat it. I am not afraid of emotions–they are great guides. I look at my speeches as an experience that we co-created because I took a risk. You witnessed my risk and took a risk of your own. Let’s have our work create a cosmic domino effect of Bright Lights+Hidden Truths=Freedom, which can be emotional, very real and awe inspiring.

You‘re going to dork out sometimes … and that’s ok. We get weird around people we admire–I busted OUT into a nervous stammer-sweat-stand-too-close episode when I met one of my heroes recently. I’ve had experiences where folks did really odd social things like interrupting me in mid-conversation with someone else, and blurting something out, grappling me into a big excited hug before even saying hi (all of which is totally fine–I’m not trying to shame anyone here). Just dork out and embrace that moment. Then, stand back, smooth your clothes down and offer me a hand to shake and say, “Hi, my name is _________. I really love your work.”

So, when have you totally dorked out trying to talk to a speaker or a celebrity or whomever? Tell me in the comments below.

———————————–

And because dorky moments are worth sharing, copy and paste these Tweets:

Everyone is approachable. @DyanaValentine offers tips for speaking to a speaker. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

Did excitement get the best of you? @DyanaValentine says, “Dork out and dig it!” http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

Step right up to folks you admire. Don’t be shy. @DyanaValentine offers tips for sharing with a speaker. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

@DyanaValentine knows that you’re going to dork out sometimes. Just dig it. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

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If you can’t view this 2:37 video click here. If you dig it and want to see us go even deeper, click here.

When my friend, Shelley said, “how you eat tells me something about how you do everything.” *Gulp* I suddenly felt vulnerable and nervous. Dive in to this deep interview and let me know HOW you have eaten, related and loved today.

Shelley really called me out and raised my eyebrows and taste buds–even though we did this interview about a week ago–I’m STILL setting my mind on “joy” or “calm” or “slow it down” before I take in food or even when I pick up the phone. For those of us celebrating U.S. Thanksgiving, this might be a great week to practice. Oh, and for a juicy, extra special bonus, check out Shelley’s new book Tantric Tastes: Dessert For Lovers (affiliate link). Keep life funky and foxy, everyone.

Hotlights for those of you who are reading in a rush (please check out the full interview on Shelley’s blog here, we had a a lot of fun):

• Cravings are signals or tools–don’t knock them until you’ve listened to them;
• If you eat with joy in mind, you digest more effectively;
• Find out about your body’s intelligent ecology (yep, get down on some new BIG words now); and
• Put some “love ketchup” on your food! Explore your own Spiritual Condiments.

Go beyond, “you are what you eat.” Follow Shelley’s lead and put some Yippee! on your plate with those mashed potatoes. I’d love to hear your stories about how food impacts your world. Please share in the comments.

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Share the treats; copy and paste these tweets:

Sprinkle some Thank You on your food. @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove explore http://bit.ly/tbJHT4 #TantricTastes

You are HOW you eat watch @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove talk about food, work and love http://bit.ly/tbJHT4 #TantricTastes

Don’t just eat your pumpkin pie – make sweet love to it! @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove http://bit.ly/tbJHT4 #TantricTastes

What spiritual condiments r u using on Thanksgiving? @DyanaValentine & @eatrelatelove http://bit.ly/tbJHT4 #TantricTastes

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I resist it when people call me a motivational speaker. I call myself an instigator and emcee. During a recent interview with the wonderful Crystal Reynolds, I spoke about why I call myself an instigator and how I get my groove on from the stage.

When you volunteer to come to a conference or one of my workshops, you arrive with your own motivation. I’m not there in the front of that room to fill your vessel; I’m there to play with that excitement that’s already percolating and bouncing around inside you and to turn it up.

I’m also totally there for me. You heard me. I get a real kick the energy that naturally springs up in a room of hundreds (and looking forward to thousands) of people. Speaking gigs allow me to polish my craft while raising the vibration of a community of people.

I’m not a motivational speaker. I’m not there to talk and rant and tell you to get off your butt and write a book or start a business or bake apple pies or whatever that thing you’re meant to do is. I’m there to instigate you to make good decisions, to teach you how to test ideas and to talk your walk.

How about you? What do you call yourself and why? Please leave your story in the comments below. Even better, go check out ALX Franzen’s incredible post Tell Us Who You Are, No, Seriously. She’s brilliant.

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Help your friends discover what’s in it for them – paste & post these insta-tweets:

it takes all kinds … @DyanaValentine wants to know what kind of provoker you are. http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

:: @DyanaValentine describes herself as an instigator. how do you describe yourself? http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

does your title really describe who you are in what you do? @DyanaValentine wants to know. http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

Have you seen me rock the mic live? Catch me on Friday, November 11th, at the Women Today Conference in Ventura, CA.

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Watch this video to see my dear friend Sam Bennett and I talk about getting our best work done and out into the world.

Can’t see the 7 minute long video? Click HERE.

Her next session of the Get It Done workshop (I have taken it 3 times – it works) starts in TWO DAYS on November 3rd. RUN, don’t walk, over to her site and sign up. Yep, that’s an affiliate link, by the way.

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Help your friends quit griping and start finishing their best projects; cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

Procrastination is genius in disguise. Find out what else @OrgArtCo has to say to @DyanaValentine http://bit.ly/sUqBHL

What’s in your genius envelope? @DyanaValentine and @OrgArtCo want to know. http://bit.ly/sUqBHL

Are you a scaredy-cat rebel? @DyanaValentine is and she goes to @OrgArtCo for help. Watch: http://bit.ly/sUqBHL

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My fabulous friend, Amy Ahlers, wrote a booty kicking book called Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves. She’s also doing a Big Fat Lies Summit- a series of conference calls where some pretty terrific and insightful human beings (*ahem*, I’m on the list) join Amy to cop to the biggest lies they’ve ever told themselves.

One of my top lies-I-told-myself lived in the “I’m too loud, pushy, nosy and bossy” room. I was hiding out from this (and other lies) for a really long time and still bump up against one or two (or five).

I shifted my I’m Too MUCH lie during my first identity branding experience with Steve Gordon at RDQLUS Creative. Steve took me through the identity process of designing my logo, choosing my color scheme and having my logo represent me instead of a company name. The result–I put the “I’m too … loud, pushy, nosy, bossy” idea (because really, it’s NOT a lie) on a brightly lit marquee, with pride, instead of ducking it at every turn.

So, now it’s your turn. How do you fill in the “I’m too …” blank? And what are the biggest, fattest lies you’ve ever told yourself? Leave a comment, tweet about it (see below), post this on Facebook—do whatever gets the truth out there.

BUY THE BOOK

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Help your friends talk their walk and cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

What was @DyanaValentine hiding out from? Find out: http://bit.ly/ojEQmi #bigfatlies

Is @DyanaValentine too loud, pushy, nosy or bossy? Find out what she thinks: http://bit.ly/ojEQmi #bigfatlies

Yes, @DyanaValentine gets excited when someone says she’s TOO loud/bossy/nosy: http://bit.ly/ojEQmi #bigfatlies

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When asked “What do you do?” most of us get that deer in the headlights look and then start our answer with “I…”.
The thing is, people don’t really care what we do. They want to know what we can do for them, or for their mother, brother, child or best friend. They want to know how we can make their lives easier. Beginning our answer by talking about ourselves means we’re not telling them what they want to know. Most people are listening with “What’s in it for me?” ears, which is why we belong at the bottom of our pitch instead of at the top. If you only have a minute to have a conversation, you want the person you’re interacting with to walk away with a clear picture of who your clients are and the benefits of your work.

Keep the focus of your pitch away from yourself and when you’re done, let there be empty space. Leave room for people to reply, react and ask you questions. If it gets awkward, ask them about themselves, don’t launch into a detailed description of what you do. Make sure they know that you’re in it to make the world a better place, not just to make a living. Remember what you say doesn’t have to be complex, it just has to open the door to a deeper conversation.

Them + You = A Better World

Trust me on this one. It works.

Click here to sign up for International Freelancer Day, a free all day conference, including a FREE Pitch Perfect™ workshop from me for YOU on Friday 9/23.

Book yourself a session or do it yourself and let your pitch fly free.

———

Help your friends talk their walk and cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

What do you say when asked “what do you do?” @DyanaValentine has ideas http://bit.ly/qDtJNF #IFD11

What should you do when things get awkward? @DyanaValentine sez: http://bit.ly/qDtJNF #IFD11

Do you go all deer in the headlights when asked what you do? @DyanaValentine suggests: http://bit.ly/qDtJNF #IFD11

Keep it Simple sign created by mamasinsanity and available here.

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Here is an annoyingly long list of questions to help you figure out if your pitch, bio, elevator speech or hi-how-are-you intro are working:

How do you feel when you deliver your spiel? Does a bullsh*t warning bell go off inside when you’re talking or are you having a blast and feel great?

Do you hesitate when someone asks what you do? You’re the only one who knows but if you’re feeling awkward, you can bet the people you’re talking to are picking up on it. NB: we are all beasts. Don’t let the technology fool you. Our inner beasts get to talking–if you yawn, I yawn. If you are freaking out like a chipmunk who stumbled into a street racing rally, so will I.

Do their eyes glaze over, or is your pitch leading you into meaningful conversations? Do people ask for more information or do they suddenly need to go to the restroom? Pay attention to the feedback coming your way, and USE IT.

Are you getting the clients you want? This is a great indicator of whether or not you’ve nailed your pitch. At one point in my business I was saying something that, in my head sounded important and professional, but in reality was incredibly dry. All of a sudden I ended up with 3 or 4 referrals who were just.not.my.people (and let’s leave it at that). So, I rephrased and started to get the fabulous creatives and high-level performers I work with now.

Are you confident your pitch is working? Fantastic. Don’t change a thing. Ever feel like you could use some help and a hand to hold? There’s no reason for you to be anything but fabulous. Here are two options to get your pitch fancied up:

Click here to sign up for International Freelancer Day, a free all day conference, including a FREE Pitch Perfect™ workshop from me for YOU on Friday 9/23.

Book yourself a session or do it yourself and let your pitch fly free.

Your turn: put your (short) pitch in the comments and I’ll give you some feedback. Thanks!

——–

Help your friends talk their walk and cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

Do you see glazed eyes and polite smiles when you say what you do? @DyanaValentine has ideas http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #IFD11

Is a bullsh*t warning bell going off inside when you talk about yourself? @DyanaValentine sez: http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #howlive

Love your clients? Then your pitch is perfect. If not–check out what @DyanaValentine suggests: http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #IFD11

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The fabulous and crafty Jenny Jafek-Jones wrote a sweet post on her response to the 23 things you might not know about you ebook the brilliant Lisa Baldwin curated.

It hits the spot when you need a boost, a lift or a reminder of what you are really, really good at.

How about you? What words of encouragement would you share with us? Please put them in the comments below.

—–

Want to share a few juicy bits from this article? Copy and paste these instant tweets:

you’re amazing. http://bit.ly/mWiVQh by @DyanaValentine

just in case you were wondering how great I think you are. http://bit.ly/mWiVQh by @DyanaValentine

What do you wish we knew about YOU? http://bit.ly/mWiVQh by @DyanaValentine

Image (and gorgeous stationery) by HearMyDear on Etsy.

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Some people are like Steven Wright – they deliver fantastic one-liners without apparent effort. For the rest of us, it takes some spit, polish and elbow grease to get a pitch to the place where it’s true, fun to say and easy to repeat.

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I had a fantastic conversation with Crystal Reynolds from Crystal Ink.

She said she sometimes feels shy about talking to speakers at conferences or events and asked me if I had any tips for her. Here is how I like my post-stage encounters to go:

Step right up. The way I really like to be approached is for people to just come on up. I want to know how my work impacts people and I don’t necessarily get that feedback all the time. I really want to talk to you after a speech as much as you want to talk to me, and I think most speakers feel the same way. So, tell us how our material affected you, what you got out of it and how you use it. Some of my most interesting collaborations have come from post-talk conversations. You just never know what can happen if you step up.

Don’t be afraid of the emotional … I’m not. My work is intense, and sometimes intimate. I mean, I did a video in my bathrobe, for goodness sake! So, sometimes people approach me from a very emotional place and then get self conscious for having gone “there.” Don’t sweat it. I am not afraid of emotions–they are great guides. I look at my speeches as an experience that we co-created because I took a risk. You witnessed my risk and took a risk of your own. Let’s have our work create a cosmic domino effect of Bright Lights+Hidden Truths=Freedom, which can be emotional, very real and awe inspiring.

You‘re going to dork out sometimes … and that’s ok. We get weird around people we admire–I busted OUT into a nervous stammer-sweat-stand-too-close episode when I met one of my heroes recently. I’ve had experiences where folks did really odd social things like interrupting me in mid-conversation with someone else, and blurting something out, grappling me into a big excited hug before even saying hi (all of which is totally fine–I’m not trying to shame anyone here). Just dork out and embrace that moment. Then, stand back, smooth your clothes down and offer me a hand to shake and say, “Hi, my name is _________. I really love your work.”

So, when have you totally dorked out trying to talk to a speaker or a celebrity or whomever? Tell me in the comments below.

———————————–

And because dorky moments are worth sharing, copy and paste these Tweets:

Everyone is approachable. @DyanaValentine offers tips for speaking to a speaker. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

Did excitement get the best of you? @DyanaValentine says, “Dork out and dig it!” http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

Step right up to folks you admire. Don’t be shy. @DyanaValentine offers tips for sharing with a speaker. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

@DyanaValentine knows that you’re going to dork out sometimes. Just dig it. http://bit.ly/tzpXa6

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1. what do you call yourself? Can’t see this 9 minute long video? Click here. I...
2. get spotlight ready WOW. I am still coming down from speaking at the...