Bindu Wiles and I shook it UP today and got all gritty talking about personal style, managing our intuition and shared our best practices for saying no gracefully. Check out her brilliant piece called Is Social Media High School All Over? for more groove-tastic thinking.

Big Bindu thoughts:
Strut your stuff, in your own way;
Be conscious about what you keep private and what you share with the world;
Get comfortable with criticism; it will set you free;
There are two kinds of pains in Buddhism: getting what you want and getting what you don’t want;
Artists must build muscles beyond hope and fear, praise and blame;
The role of the artist is to shake it up;
When you are self conscious about your work, it never works; and
Intuition NEVER waffles.

Check out a mash up video of our convo and more of Bindu’s fabulousness in this post.

It’s your turn! How do you turn the world on with your style? What are your best practices for managing your personal and public personae? Tell it in the comments, please.

Oh, and if you come up with a special name (watch to the end to find out what I’m talking about) for my bling, email me at info@dyanavalentine.com, and I’ll send you a prize.

Related posts:

1. Finish It! Friday with Bindu Wiles Every week on Finish It! Friday, I invite groovy folks...

Do you find yourself turning other people’s crises into your emergencies? I do (less and less, but it still happens). When does it make sense to jump into the fire with a client, friend or colleague and when does it make sense to stay out of it? How can you extricate yourself from this situation gracefully?

In the inaugural issue of Delish Magazine, I fielded juicy questions about time management, client relationships and workplace bullying. Here’s an excerpt of one column that I think gets right to the “their crisis is not your emergency” point:

Say Yes-to-the-NO!

Dear DyVa: I’m working with a client on a 75-day project and they are now in a pickle and need it in 35 days. How do I learn the fine art of saying NO? Do I have to offer a compromise? Are there any good tricks to avoid sounding like a jerk? I have it down to a point, but other days I feel like I’m missing something.

My friend and superstar coach, Amy Ahlers, says: “No is a complete sentence.” You don’t have to give a big reason. Saying no without a big ramble or some complex plan to protect your reputation takes a little bit of practice. A very pointy-headed bookkeeper once told me she tells her clients that their crisis is not her emergency. Try it out sometime.

As you build your NO muscle, consider the concept of under-promising and over-delivering. I trust that you have integrity and like to follow through on your commitments, right? Consider this on-your-way-to-NO script:

“We have made a promise to each other here and I can’t keep my quality standard as high as I’ve promised and deliver what you need in half the time.”

Your question inspires me to ask what does your contract or agreement says. If you have an agreed upon time frame and you can actually accomplish what they want, add a rush fee. Throw them a bone—what can you do for them—I can’t do 35 days, but I can do x, y or z. If you don’t have a contract, I hope this situation inspires one.

I strongly believe that the relationship is more important than the contract. Their request is not the end of the conversation. Put on your investigative reporter hat and find out what they really need. Is something else behind the new deadline?

Stand your ground. Remember, no means no. Please report back and let me know how you handle this (and other) No-gotiations.

Delish (where I’m a columnist and resident “DyVa”) is a free online publication for women. My column is called “Ask The Instigator,” and you can find it on the final page of every issue.

Page through the entire Spring/Summer 2010 issue of Delish right here.

What are your questions about your professional life? Ask them in the comments. Thank you.

Photo by Chris Violette, used by permission under a Creative Commons license.

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Photo by fotogail, Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Used with permission under a Creative Commons license.
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