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admin — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:50:48 +0000

WOW. I am still coming down from speaking at the incredible TEDxWomenOjai conference, hosted by Jodi Womack . Since then, I’ve received a new wave of questions and interview requests from folks who are interested in stepping on stage. Here are a few ideas to get you warmed up for your spotlight:

Just start speaking. Okay, that may sound totally obnoxious, but literally show up somewhere and volunteer to speak at a local meet up. Create a Meetup, or find an existing one that suits you, so you can speak in front of at least 5 or 6 people.

Make videos. I sometimes feel like I was sort of cheating by making videos as blog posts (because it was more fun and easier than writing for me), but the videos were the thing that actually let people know that I had something to say and had some on camera talent. It was also great practice for the stage. It’s important to look at speaking as a craft, not just a business-building vehicle. Get your feet wet. Watch yourself. Find and hone your own style before you hit the stage.

You’re going to feel sick. Know that. Before my first big gig, I was comfortable speaking in small groups and facilitating meetings or small events. To be totally honest and without exaggeration, I was still sick to my stomach for six months before my first big speaking gig (in another city, 300+ folks, paid). I was beside myself. It’s just part of the process; it’s totally natural and you know what–it gets a little better, but I’m still nervous before every.single.gig.

Throw out the checklists. You can’t learn to be a great speaker by watching videos or obsessively reading tip sheets (like this one). I don’t care how many instructionals your read, watch or put on your credit card, until you stand on that stage and feel your legs noodle AND you are sweating through your really cute outfit AND you are barfy AND your mouth is all dry AND you can’t remember your name, you won’t start growing as a speaker. You can’t mature until you just do it. It’s like telling a 14-year-old to grow up–wasted breath. You are going to be great–just show up.

Are you spotlight ready? Tell me what you are doing to get there in the comments below.

___________

Shine the light for others; copy and paste these Tweets:

Do you get stage fright? What about stage barf? @DyanaValentine does, too. http://bit.ly/rG7jHD

Speaker wannabes, listen up! @DyanaValentine offers tips for getting spotlight ready. http://bit.ly/rG7jHD

Ready to step up to the mic? @DyanaValentine has a few ideas: http://bit.ly/rG7jHD

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admin — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 08:00:37 +0000

Can’t see this 9 minute long video? Click here.

I resist it when people call me a motivational speaker. I call myself an instigator and emcee. During a recent interview with the wonderful Crystal Reynolds, I spoke about why I call myself an instigator and how I get my groove on from the stage.

When you volunteer to come to a conference or one of my workshops, you arrive with your own motivation. I’m not there in the front of that room to fill your vessel; I’m there to play with that excitement that’s already percolating and bouncing around inside you and to turn it up.

I’m also totally there for me. You heard me. I get a real kick the energy that naturally springs up in a room of hundreds (and looking forward to thousands) of people. Speaking gigs allow me to polish my craft while raising the vibration of a community of people.

I’m not a motivational speaker. I’m not there to talk and rant and tell you to get off your butt and write a book or start a business or bake apple pies or whatever that thing you’re meant to do is. I’m there to instigate you to make good decisions, to teach you how to test ideas and to talk your walk.

How about you? What do you call yourself and why? Please leave your story in the comments below. Even better, go check out ALX Franzen’s incredible post Tell Us Who You Are, No, Seriously. She’s brilliant.

—–

Help your friends discover what’s in it for them – paste & post these insta-tweets:

it takes all kinds … @DyanaValentine wants to know what kind of provoker you are. http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

:: @DyanaValentine describes herself as an instigator. how do you describe yourself? http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

does your title really describe who you are in what you do? @DyanaValentine wants to know. http://bit.ly/tc0Teg @crystalinkdesig

Have you seen me rock the mic live? Catch me on Friday, November 11th, at the Women Today Conference in Ventura, CA.

do you believe yourself? Check out my chat with Tanya Geisler as we talk...
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admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:00:27 +0000

In the wake of her mind-blowingly amazing book called Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves, my awesome friend and coaching colleague, Amy Ahlers, created the Big Fat Lies Summit. I had the distinct honor of taking place in one of this series of fabulous conference calls, which you can check out here.

For me—and this may come as a “I need to sit down” shocking sort of revelation coming from me—one of the biggest lies I tell myself is, “I can’t possibly say that.” Seriously.

I am constantly giving my big fat opinion on how people can say what needs to be heard or what they need to say in a way that resonates with their values. And, I am constantly saying things that really have no business being said out loud.

But there are definitely times when I think to myself, “I can’t say that.” And it almost always has been because what I wanted to say bumped up against a big value of mine. Just thinking about saying to someone that I have a friendship or relationship or business partnership with that I don’t want to work with or associate with them anymore … it’s like organs are dropping out of my body just thinking about it.

The “I can’t possibly say that” lie is very powerful and causes so much anxiety in people. Whenever I encounter this lie or work with other folks that suffer from it, I use a simple exercise to help ensure that the truth is told. When you feel like there is something you couldn’t possibly say, write it down on a piece of paper, give it to someone in your life and ask them to read it back to you. If it helps, substitute your name for the other person’s name, so it reads like, “Dear Dyana, this is really hard for me to say to you, but you’re important to me and I have to tell you that I don’t like the way you’re handling x, y and z.”

Sometimes when you hear it from somebody else, you suddenly realize that you can say it or you can, but not right now or it’s just completely inappropriate to say altogether. Either way, you’ve taken it out of your mind and put it out into the world so you can stop stewing over it.

So, do that little exercise for me now and let me know how it turns out. Did you find that it was something you could say after all or something you really had no business saying in the first place?

———

Help your friends talk their walk and cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

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admin — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:52:04 +0000

Here is an annoyingly long list of questions to help you figure out if your pitch, bio, elevator speech or hi-how-are-you intro are working:

How do you feel when you deliver your spiel? Does a bullsh*t warning bell go off inside when you’re talking or are you having a blast and feel great?

Do you hesitate when someone asks what you do? You’re the only one who knows but if you’re feeling awkward, you can bet the people you’re talking to are picking up on it. NB: we are all beasts. Don’t let the technology fool you. Our inner beasts get to talking–if you yawn, I yawn. If you are freaking out like a chipmunk who stumbled into a street racing rally, so will I.

Do their eyes glaze over, or is your pitch leading you into meaningful conversations? Do people ask for more information or do they suddenly need to go to the restroom? Pay attention to the feedback coming your way, and USE IT.

Are you getting the clients you want? This is a great indicator of whether or not you’ve nailed your pitch. At one point in my business I was saying something that, in my head sounded important and professional, but in reality was incredibly dry. All of a sudden I ended up with 3 or 4 referrals who were just.not.my.people (and let’s leave it at that). So, I rephrased and started to get the fabulous creatives and high-level performers I work with now.

Are you confident your pitch is working? Fantastic. Don’t change a thing. Ever feel like you could use some help and a hand to hold? There’s no reason for you to be anything but fabulous. Here are two options to get your pitch fancied up:

Click here to sign up for International Freelancer Day, a free all day conference, including a FREE Pitch Perfect™ workshop from me for YOU on Friday 9/23.

Book yourself a session or do it yourself and let your pitch fly free.

Your turn: put your (short) pitch in the comments and I’ll give you some feedback. Thanks!

——–

Help your friends talk their walk and cut, paste & post these insta-tweets:

Do you see glazed eyes and polite smiles when you say what you do? @DyanaValentine has ideas http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #IFD11

Is a bullsh*t warning bell going off inside when you talk about yourself? @DyanaValentine sez: http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #howlive

Love your clients? Then your pitch is perfect. If not–check out what @DyanaValentine suggests: http://bit.ly/rjNbq0 #IFD11

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admin — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 11:00:06 +0000

Some people are like Steven Wright – they deliver fantastic one-liners without apparent effort. For the rest of us, it takes some spit, polish and elbow grease to get a pitch to the place where it’s true, fun to say and easy to repeat.

Play time! Grab a piece of paper, a digital recorder or your favorite processing tool and spend some time finding an arc – a beginning, middle and end – to what you want to share with the world. Don’t feel hemmed in by what you should say, just let ‘er rip. What would you really like folks to know about you, your biz your about-to-be-released sizzletron product?

Write it out and choose two people to give it to, one who knows you and one who doesn’t. Ask them to pick out the words or sentences that jump out to them.

The person who knows you is going to show you what they think works based on their knowledge of who you are and what you do. The person who doesn’t know you will pull out what’s interesting to them.

Compare the top choices of each reviewer. Those are your money lines. Make sure the friend you give it to is the kind who will tell you if your butt looks big in those jeans. Ego-stroking might make you purr, but it won’t help you rock your pitch.

Your turn. Put your top lines in the comments below. Still stuck? Check out Pitch Perfect™ –no pressure to buy, you can download a free worksheet over there, too.

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admin — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:10:04 +0000

I trust that you are always thinking about your audience when you craft a talk, workshop or presentation; right? It’s easy to slip into a couple of less-than-effective habits when turning your talents into talks.

Garr Reynolds changed the face of my presentations three years ago (thanks to Colleen Wainwright for turning me on to him and to Nancy Duarte). His recent piece on using lessons from aikido to deal with difficult audience members is brilliant.

Here’s a quick tips video to get you grooving:

Read more and find out how to apply these tips over on my guest post for the Creative Freelancer Blog.

What are your presentation questions, tips or comments? Let me know in the comments!

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admin — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:41:53 +0000

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